Swimming Against the Current: Overcoming Fear to Master Swimming in Midlife
I grew up in the Great Plains, where access to safe water for swimming was not easily accessible. Swimming lessons were expensive and inconvenient for my parents to take me to.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of water. As a child and for most of my adulthood, I avoided deep water and most water activities.
Fast forward to my mid-30s, when I moved to Durham, North Carolina. I took swimming lessons for beginners. After four sessions, I learned to float, but not to swim.
When I quit my W2 career and moved to Wilmington, North Carolina, I started to think more about things I’d been putting off my whole life. A few of these things were working with a trainer to lift weights and strengthen my core, eating healthier, and learning to swim.
I decided I wanted to identify as a swimmer instead of a non-swimmer.
So I began the journey to learn to swim in midlife.
About Us
Darren and I are early retirees who left corporate careers in our late 40s. We are nomadic except for three months a year when we spend time in our tiny home in the Great Plains of the United States.
We spend 40 - 120 days per year thru-hiking in the EU and about 90 days per year in the Caribbean and Central America. This blog documents our journey to nomadic living and financial independence and the adjustments we’ve made to make the lifestyle work.
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Can You Learn How To Swim in Your 40s?
This was the question I was willing to answer by shelling out $900 to a private swim instructor over 12 weeks.
I’d read that learning to swim in midlife could be a fulfilling and enjoyable experience. Or at least that is what some people on the Interwebs had shared in various Reddit posts on learning to swim in midlife.
The short answer is yes, you can learn to swim in your 40s. Since I’ve learned how to swim, I’ve spent hundreds of hours swimming in places like Puerto Rico and Bonaire, in community pools and at a YWCA.
Below I detail my process and experience for readers who are wanting to learn to swim in midlife or later.
Where Did You Learn To Swim in Midlife?
Even though Wilmington, North Carolina is right on the coast, I had a difficult time finding someone to do adult, private swimming lessons. Covid vaccines had just been rolled out in early 2021 and it seemed like public and private pools didn’t know what they would do for the spring 2021 instruction season.
I found Aquatic Adventures in Wilmington through a lengthy Google search. After talking to the owner, Clinton Donald, I felt confident that he and his team could get me to swim. He explained to me that it was quite common for people who are more analytical and spend more time in their heads instead of their bodies to find it difficult to learn to swim, regardless of age. This brief comment really resonated with me.
I’d unknowingly uncovered the first step—find a supportive environment. Look for swimming lessons or classes designed for adult beginners or individuals of all ages. These programs often have instructors experienced in teaching adults and provide a supportive and non-judgmental atmosphere.
Why Do Many Smart People Struggle to Learn to Swim?
As someone who would self-identify as spending much more time in my own head than listening to my body, Clinton Donald’s comment was a light bulb moment.
Smart people are typically averse to failure, and this adversity extends beyond the classroom and into so many areas of life, including swimming. I’d given up on previous half-hearted attempts to learn to swim because I was not “getting it” in my head. Whenever I felt the slightest bit unsafe, I would quit. I’d also get frustrated in a group setting because other people were leaning faster. As a person with high-achiever tendencies, this frustrated me even more.
Overcoming the Fear of Swimming
If you have any fear of water, it's essential to address them before you start learning to swim. In order to overcome my fears, I had to take a step back and remove a mental block around failure and the speed of learning a new skill. This required me to get more in touch with my body.
I’d heard on a podcast about the challenges of high achievers in not trying new things. The podcaster mentioned several resources, one being “Why Smart People Hurt” by retired family therapist Eric Maisel.
I got the book on Audible. The stories in the book were well-researched and helpful in connecting the dots between high achievers and taking risks.
In a nutshell, the author explains different strategies to take when your brain goes into overdrive in uncomfortable situations, like learning how to swim in midlife.
Start with the Basics
I’d read online that one begins to swim by learning the fundamental swimming techniques and skills. This includes getting comfortable in the water, learning to float, and practicing basic kicks and arm movements.
At my first couple of swimming lessons, I learned a lot. I was essentially in the pool with a wetsuit and noodle for an hour each time. I now understood why my first two classes seemed kind of slow.
The instructor at Aquatic Adventures made sure that I took time gradually getting comfortable in the water without panicking. The instructor talked to me in a quiet and confident manner, to build rapport and to insure me that they would be right next to me in case I got scared. At any time I could stand up, as the pool was only four feet deep.
Slowly the instructor had me work on arm movements only, followed by leg-only movements in the next session. In another session, I worked on floating on my front.
It wasn’t until my sixth session that we start putting things together. In that session, I learned how to go from a front float to standing up. I didn’t master it in the class and was a little frustrated. The instructor said not to worry, and to just keep practicing that one movement at our neighborhood pool with a friend or my husband.
After a few sessions, everything clicked. I could easily go from a front float to standing up as if I’d been doing it all my life.
Use Swim Goggles
As an adult learning to swim, using goggles can help to build confidence and comfort in the water. My first pair of swim goggles from Harris Teeter grocery store were pretty cheap. On the second use, water started to leak in and scared me. I immediately found some Speedo goggles online.
These Speedo goggles were easy to adjust, felt comfortable on my face, and did not fog up. They also came with a crush-resistant case, which helped me to keep them in one piece and not scratched up.
Stay Warm and Use Flotation Aids
Because it was spring and the pool water wasn’t warm yet, the instructor suggested that I wear a neoprene wetsuit in the pool. She informed me that learning to swim in cold water is difficult, since it is uncomfortable to most people. The instructor had various wetsuits for me to use during the sessions.
On my coach’s advice, I purchased a neoprene wetsuit top and bottom separately. I chose a 2.0 mm top and a 2.0 mm bottom. It was easier to put on a two piece wetsuit combo than a single wetsuit. Here are the styles I purchased:
I recommend going up a size on both top and bottom if you plan to wear a swimsuit, speedos, or a bikini underneath. t’s also easier to remove a slightly oversized garment when it is wet—something I did not know about as I was not yet a swimmer.
Three years later, I’m still using the wetsuit top and bottom. I like that I can wear a bikini top with the bottoms or a swimsuit underneath the top when I’m traveling to swim-friendly places and need just a little warmth. I wear the neoprene top twice as often as the bottom, so I’m glad I went with the premium brand and economized on the bottoms.
In addition to a neoprene wetsuit, to build confidence and focus on your technique, consider using flotation aids such as a kickboard or noodle. These flotation devices are inexpensive at box or dollar stores and can provide support while you practice your strokes and help you feel more at ease in the water.
Practice Swimming Regularly
Consistency is key when learning to swim. As things started opening up in the spring of 2021, I was able to access swim lanes at the Wilmington YWCA by appointment.
I aimed to practice three days per week and do lessons from Aquatic Adventures twice a week. Not only was this practice needed to reinforce the skills I had just learned, but I also needed to build stamina.
Over several weeks, I was able to gradually increase the duration and intensity of my workouts as I became more comfortable in the water.
Focus on Water Safety
Learning to swim is not just about technique; it's also about water safety. As a beginner, we don’t yet know safety rules and practices, such as understanding the depth of water, knowing how to tread water, or recognizing the signs of fatigue or distress.
I learned from my instructor about basic water safety rules. As a beginner, I never swam alone. If Darren or my friend Sharon was not available to watch me practice, I drove to practice at the YWCA. I informed the life guard at the beginning of each lane appointment at the YWCA that I was a beginning swimmer.
Join a Swimming Community
As an introvert, I didn’t feel the need to join a group of other swimmers to meet my goal of becoming a swimmer. In fact, I chose private lessons so that I’d be able to ask dozens of questions without annoying other swimmers. I also felt safer being the sole learner with an instructor who was focused only on me, just in case I panicked in the water.
However, many people find it easier to learn if they learn to swim with others. Engaging with others who are learning to swim or whom are experienced swimmers can be fun. Joining a swimming community or club can provide additional motivation, support, and opportunities to learn from others.
Set Realistic Goals
Learning to swim was entirely different than learning any other thing in my life
I didn’t have the language or experience around swimming to know what goals to set for myself. So I kept it simple: I will learn how to swim at the end of twelve weeks. What type of stroke(s) I learned or didn’t learn did not matter to me at all. I’d be thrilled if I made it from one side of the pool to the other.
After eight lessons, I’d only learned how to go from a front float to standing up. In the ninth session, everything clicked. I was able to combine my breathing skills with my arm and leg movements. I was able to swim across the pool during that session.
In my three remaining sessions, I learned how to recover from a back float, how to roll over in the water, and how to frog kick. In my last session, I learned how to jump into the pool and swim to the side.
My instructor, my husband, and friends helped me celebrate small milestones along the way to keep me motivated and encouraged.
In Summary
Remember, learning to swim in midlife is a process that takes time and patience.
There will be a lot of failure along the way. Some failures I encountered were
Failure to select the right goggles
Failure to breath correctly in the water, until I watched many hours of YouTube videos on the topic
Failure to do two things at the same time (e.g. breath and move my arms) until several weeks into my lessons
Approach learning to swim with a positive mindset. Try to enjoy the journey of discovering a new skill and the joy of being in the water.
